“Never forget me, because if I thought you would, I would never leave.” A.A.Milne
Joyce was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma in 2001 a diagnosis i her daughter kept secret from her to protect her for nearly a year until a doctor who thought it wrong to keep secrets from his patients told her. I had told her she merely had a blood disorder. It was the hardest and loneliest secret i ever kept.
For the next 6 years she fought her illness so hard. Despite her suffering she never lost her capacity for being utterly selfless, putting everyone before herself. She also never stopped smiling, even the nurse at the hospital said she was always smiling. She had a beautiful smile.
There were many good times and bad over the years. I did shout at her at times through fear and frustration and she got very upset. What i failed to realise in trying to protect mum was that stopping someone from living will not stop them from dying.
In September 2007 when it became clear the latest round of treatment was doing more harm than good, Joyce helped by me and my dad Jimmy, her partner of 37 years made the decision to stop all treatment.
The last 4 months were the best she had in years, no hospitals or treatments. We spent a very happy christmas although i knew it would be our last one. In early February mum started to deteriorate rapidly and it became clear she was dying, Joyce made the decision to die at home with `her Jimmy` and me, her daughter Viv.
It was at this time that I finally had to tell her she was dying, a secret I had kept from her for 6 years. Until that point ahe had never known she was going to die from the cancer she had. I had convinced her over the years it was a non fatal cancer, so she would never have the worry or fear.
Joyce was more upset at leaving Jimmy and Viv than she was at the prospect of dying. So very typical of her that her only concern was for those she loved.
Shortly before 6pm on Feb 27th Viv told her it was o.k for her to go if she wanted and her mum and dad would be waiting for her. With Dad and me holding her hands she passed peacefully away into God`s care and the arms of her waiting family.
Although everyday without her is hard to bear everyday that passes is another day closer to joining her. Love and miss you forever mum. I will never ever get over losing you. xxxxx
Memorial Tributes To JOYCE
GOD ONLY TAKES THE BEST
Gods loving arms enfolded you
with tender loving care,
He saw that you were suffering
as you laid in silence there,
He said the time has come
for you to take a rest,
He held you in his arms and said,
I ONLY TAKE THE BEST. GOD BLESS YOU xxx
Left by
Anne 24/01/11
Joyce sounded a remarkable woman bless her xx
Memorial Poems Left For JOYCE
"To my dearest friends and family,
some things I'd like to say.
But first of all, to let you know,
that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from heaven.
Here I dwell with God above.
Here, there's no more tears of sadness;
Here is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy
just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I am with you every
morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you
when my life on earth was through.
God picked me up and hugged me and
He said, "I welcome you".
"It's good to have you back again,
you were missed while you were gone.
As for your friends and family,
They'll be here later on.
I need you here badly,
you're part of my plan.
There's so much that we have to do,
to help our mortal man."
God gave me a list of things,
that he wished for me to do, and
foremost on the list,
was to watch and care for you.
And I will be beside you
every day and week and year
and when you're sad
I'm standing there to wipe away the tear.
And when you lie in bed at night
the day's chores put to flight,
God and I are closest to you..
in the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on earth,
and all those loving years,
because you are only human,
they are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry,
it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers,
unless there was some rain.
I wish that I could tell you
all that God has planned.
If I were to tell you,
you wouldn't understand.
But one thing is for certain,
though my life on earth is o'er,
I'm closer to you now than
I ever was before.
And to my very many friends
trust God knows what is best,
I'm still not far away from you
I'm just beyond the crest.
There are many rocky roads
ahead of you and
many hills to climb;
But together we can do it by
taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy
and I'd like it for you too;
That as give unto the world,
the world will give to you.
If you can help somebody
who's in sorrow and pain,
then you can say to God
at night...
"My day was not in vain".
And now I am contented....
that my life was worthwhile.
Know as I passed along the way
I made somebody smile.
So if you meet somebody
who is sad and feeling low,
Just lend a hand to pick him up,
as on your way you go.
When you're walking down the street
and you've got me on your mind,
I'm walking in you footsteps
only half a step behind.
And when you feel the gentle breeze
or the wind upon your face,
that's me giving you a great big hug
or just a soft embrace.
And when it's time for you to go
....from that body to be free.
Remember you're not going..
..you're coming here to me.
And I will always love you
from that land way up above.
Will be in touch again soon.
P.S. God sends His Love
REMEMBER me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.
Left by maureen 21/01/11
