Greg Wagner

So sad God bless you Greg watch over all who love and miss you xxx

Even when I'm smiling there is another feeling there, just under the surface, always at war with what happiness I might feel. Every time I laugh I feel disloyal. To one who is no longer laughing, at least not on this earth. What right do I have to feel happy? He should be smiling. His smile should have gone on for many more years. Long after mine had ended and turned to dust. My emotions go up and down, from one second to the next creating an empty, ill, hollow feeling inside of me. A hollow that should been filled by his children but instead will only hold my tears. My panic, my anxiety sneak into my days and steal moments from me. But they live with me at night. They come as I ready myself for the empty bed, standing silently beside me. As I cover myself and close my eyes they begin to whisper to me. Hard as I try at times I cannot stop myself from listening. To the words that break my heart and tear my soul to pieces. To doubts, recriminations, accusations. Always regret. Longing. Fear.